Is Life Enough? What is our eyes set on?

“Be yourself. Be true to that, to your heart. Patience. See what happens if you step back instead of bounding forward.” 

― Nora Roberts

.......

A prison cell.

A yard of pain running deep in my veins,

Deeply troubled, nothing seems to be good anymore.

That best party you used to always loved, 

turned sour. 

Nothing in life, seems exciting anymore.

Everyday I will ask,

'Who am I?'

........

I once set my eyes on my once-beautiful self. 

I was pure, innocent, happy, contented. Just like how a child should be.

Nothing was damaged. 

Life was of sunshine and rainbows. 

Isn't that amazing? I want to be right there again. 

My reach is to reach who I was.

 Just there. 

That is enough. (Or not?)

........

I reached it! 

Yes, here I am. 

Yesterday, I organized and celebrated a wild party, to REJOICE!

Two days ago, I wrote in my diary, to REJOICE!

And a week ago,  I went for a 5 days holiday to Hawaii to REJOICE!

I loved what I had in my arms. 

I have it all. 

A bucket of sunshine. A sky of rainbows. 
Beautiful.

........

That night, I dreamt of a shooting star. 
The one and only one that my sister had. 

She gave it to me.
On my 6th birthday.
It was my most memorable birthday gift I ever had.
But I lost it.

'I want to get it back, somehow.' I told myself.

.......

One night, I drive across my favourite drive way in town. 

I turned,
and I looked up upon the sky, 

I saw MY shooting star.

 Without a second to waste, I am on a wild goose hunt again! 

.......

(Or Not?)

Is life going to be enough? Is had it been enough? Are we too contented to ourselves?

When is it going to be enough? Should we ask ourselves that?

Who are we going to listen to? Where are we going to get our answers? How are we going to do it? Why are we doing it? When are we going to start doing it?

Most importantly, where are we setting our eyes on?

Our goal. Our target. Our dream.

I had my eyes on being myself. And I am moving on.

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The tale above about is just an example of being ourselves, and is my version of my life story. 

How about yours? If its not being ourselves, what other values or principles are you going to apply on?

Let's all think about that.

May you set your eyes on a course, and be free.

Good luck,
'Old Mind, Young Heart

Fathers, On their Event, and 'What is Next?'

The clock strikes one. It is one hour pass, midnight. One hour pass an old week, and one hour passes by and now it comes, it comes a new week.

One hour passes too, since Father's Day.

What do you remember off, on and off, of this day?

Nevertheless, I hoped you had a good one, there.

Time for rekindled flames. A time to bond, a time to celebrate, a time to remind ourselves how to honor the greatest person in our life. He is the greatest, because he bought us in, into our lives.

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Happy Father's Day, for those who is already one.

I mean well, to all of you.

'Our fathers are products of our grandfathers, and we, in turn, are the products of our fathers.'

How very true.

And if we didn't bound to forgive them because of this, how do we expect our sons and daughters to forgive us one day?

If we fail as sons and daughters, to even not to forgive, then how do we expect to perform in other parts of our lives?

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Many kids, today, suffered because of the old wounds their parents, hold on to.

How do we relate to that?

Are we going to start now or are we going to start later?

We, for those who isn't parents yet, going to prevent the infection to spread, by solving the problems of today. Or, we wait until we see that after only a problem arises, we act upon it?

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Now, let me tell you a story:

There is once a man, who isn't afraid of nothing. A real / 'macho' man, you would say. He goes to gym, every single day, an active in sports, some girls love him for who he is, this way.

Yes, he is afraid of nothing, except for one.

The fear of little kids.

How they wail, how they would cry, how energetic they can be. How many questions they would ask. They run, he runs too. Especially if they are running to him.

He can never keep up to them.

This fear changes one day. Finally he overcame it. He is relieved. 'I am now a real man!' he says.

But how he overcome it, you ask.

It happens as the day, where he finally got married and have a kid of his own, a year later. He is in the hospital, waiting, and finally saw his firstborn for the first time.

Tears is dropped. And, smiles is exchanged.

He paused. And, he declared:

That he is going to be the best father he can be, ever.

He is going to learn the ropes.

No matter what, no matter how.

-------

I may not be a father today; but i do know this:

This is how all fathers would feel.

Deep down, somehow. Their lives, is forever changed.

Their hearts may be swollen before, but never again, not since that day.

Why?

It melted.

For the love of that child.

--------

My heart did too, today.

It happen, because,

I saw a video today, a video entitled 'What is that?'

It begin of a scene of a father and son. On a bench, right outside of the house. One is idle. The other is reading. A magazine, of some sort.

Then came, a sparrow.

The father asked the son: 'What is that?'. The son would replied, 'A sparrow.'

This scene repeats, for another two more times. That blew his son temper.

On the third time: he started yelling at his dad. 'I TOLD YOU, DAD. ITS A S-P-A-R-R-O-W. Are you dumb? How many times do you want me to say?'

His father was hurt, and decided he should just walk away. My son doesn't want him around, he told himself.

But after a while, the father came back with a book and put it right there, laying rested on the hands of his own son.

And says: 'Read it. Aloud.'

So it begun. The son begins to read.

'My family and I was in a park today. Where my son would be playing around and finally stopped by me and asked.

My son would asked: 'What is that?'

And, being a good father, I replied 'A sparrow'. This went on for 21 times. And each given time, I would give him a hug, telling him that I am concerned for him, and that I love him.'

He dropped the book. Deeply shaken, and he finally realized how much pain he had caused to his dad. How ungratefulness he is. What mannerism is that?

He knows what he must do.

He hugs his dad. Like how it was before.

With all he can.

--------

Today,

I heard great powerful testimonies, life stories and a sermon on all on a basis on fatherhood.

With that, I looked and saw my dad with a new found love and respect.

And how I want to remind him of my love to him.

I hugged him, an hour or so later, deeper than usual, and wishing him 'Happy Father's Day.'

With gentleness. With love.

I love my dad for who he is.

-------

I needed Father Day to remind me how I took my relationship with my dad, for granted.

We forgets. Sometimes, we need a cause, an event, a turn in our lives.

What is in of a relationship?

How we make sure the bridge is still right there? Or even built, at the first place?

Did we hug them? More so, kiss them? Did we tell them how much they meant to us? How about 'I love you.'? Did we show appreciation on even the most simple things they do for us?

The above are only just a few. But deep down in us, we know there are many more ways.

Just like on how what this world is made out of.

We look onto the horizon, and we saw an ending.

And, the best part of them all, is there is many ways in getting there.

The Question is: Are we doing it?

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Questions asked, I hope it did help you to find some answers.

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As you probably had realised, or soon to realised, I did a little tweak unto my blog layout.

I am liking my new template and coloring.

I am still working my way around, on my title. 'Old Mind, Young Heart, being the latest. Now with a ' at the beginning. I tried 'Young Heart, Old Mind', 'An Old Mind, A Young Heart.' for the last twenty or so minutes. Nothing seems to fit in.

I chose these few words because of the how ironic it is, but yet also, on how true is it. It reflect my nature. But mind-cracking as it is, I need an answer. Any ideas, from word enthusiasts out there?

Actually, that is all I want to say. Just all about designs, style, and writing.

But hey, father day was yesterday and I knew I had a lot to share. And boy, did I shared them all.

Well, for your update, I finally found and had a wonderful theme to write about and finally found a forte on why anyone would want to read my blog.

Still, I believe, blog writing is a learnt skill. And especially in the area of trying to get more people to read it.

I am new. But, I am learning. I had my introduction ready. But what is next? And, that my friends, held me tight in both areas of excitement and nervousness. That is just feeling. In the thinking part, let's not go into there. Definitely, a lot to think about.

Share with me, or email me at sim_ks@hotmail.com if you know a thing or two in areas such as 'How to market a blog.' or 'Effective ways in good writing'. Well, basically ways to improve myself as a blog writer.

With many thanks, and have a good week.

Until then,
'Old Mind, Young Heart

Reintroduction, A New Cause, & What happened?

A Shopping Mall.

What do you think make people to like to go a mall? If mostly isn't because of the crowd?

At least, they won't hate the mall, but people will always have a need to go there?

It is because anything you asked for, it's mostly right there.

Isn't that right?

--------

An item of a hobby, an item of a need - clothes, food, etc,

Or do we shop, because it became a ritual, a habit, or even a obsession?

Did we spent more than we should? What harm had it caused us? Or are yet to come?

Maybe it is not shopping. It is something else.

What had you discovered? Ask yourself.

An obsession isn't a problem. An unhealthy one is.

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We all have a different kind of moments in our lives.

Moments of Happiness. Moments of Love. Moments of Pain. Moments of Sadness.

Do you cherished them all, and take them as part of you? Or do you only take a few, and leave the rest aside?

All I can say, each of them are precious.

We experienced happiness, and we remembered that once upon a time, we were happy. And, there is still hope and a light to the end of the tunnel.

We experienced love, and we remembered how we should do the same to our future sons and daughters. Even to our closest friends.

We experienced regret and guilt, which are signs of pain, we know we had done wrong. We learn how not to do it again, and grow to be better. And this is how we experienced pride. Pride, in a good sense. We know we had done something we thought we couldn't achieve. But we did it.

Or even if we didn't know what to do, we fall into sadness. We feel sad. We lost our sense of confidence. But we know, as sooner or later, we seen what others or even our past had taught us that even the best people could jump out of the worst circumstance. Why couldn't we?

Each moment are a part of you. Learn to embrace them. They are all precious.

Not now, perhaps. But one day.

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We loved the things we loved to do. We hate the things we hated to do. We envied the other things the others do, that we loved to do ourselves.

The above, is pretty obvious. I like vanilla. You like chocolate. I like. I hate. You like. You hate.

Life is like that.

Or rather, life was like that.

-------

I will ask: How is life?

What would you say?

Do you remember, back in high school, where for many of us, we are still defined by the rules and environment that our parents set us in?

We are not fully defined yet. We wouldn't ready, yet.

We had rules to follow. We had a boundary to follow. Curfew, Homework, Housework etc. Those were the things we used to worry about.

Yet today, look at us. The leash is gone. Or at least, loosen up. Yet, are we doing fine?

And, what do we have on our hands? Did our mind open up? What used to be right is now wrong, and vice versa? Why is that happening? Did reality hit us?

Do we set our own boundary? How good is it?

Did we suffer because of this?

It is part of growing up.

It is call being an adult.

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Basically, I wrote all I wanted to write and had in my mind down into the above essay, first, before I started writing my introduction and an end. Then I decide, I wouldn't really need a introduction at all, I am happy with on what I had.

I would say, I really loved what I write above, and it just seems - all from my heart and soul. I never knew I could actually write like that and I am proud of it. At least, much better than I did from my initial blog entries. Those are pretty bad. This is definitely better.

Well, just a quick share, the above content is related what I had experienced as a young adult for the last one year. Life before hand, is still what i call, pretty much in-wrap, or perhaps you might call it, 'right there in a comfort zone.'

Life was definitely easy. Life is tough. No wonder most of them says: 'Hoho, nothing beats high school.' They are absolutely right.

I was having a drive of my lifetime, speaking to the Lord, for the first time in a very long time.

'I asked: Lord, fill in the gap i am experiencing right now.'

This is where the content, above, came in. This is part of that gap that I am experiencing. That intoxicating pain I felt, sometimes. How I wish I could just removed it.

But now I know, is it really a part of growing up. My mind wasn't the mind I had before. My heart is tainted by the reality of life. But i have only two choices. Either I deal with it or I don't.

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Here's a tidbit on what happened last one year, in written words. I am going to tell you why I am sharing this.

- July 2011. It all begins.
- I face stress.
- Stress slapped me hard and I got depressed.
- I did some decision which I thought was correct, and begin practicing some new habits.
- Habits was fine, at first.
- I lost my identity, midway, call it an 'Identity Crisis'.
- 'Disbelief Attitude' comes in, which I became cold and refuse to trust and believe in anything, at first sight.
- Begin April 2012, I realized I made the biggest mistake in my life. What I did/cause: relationships to most people, worsen, whatever I did within a month before, I just felt wrong.
- April - May 2012. In a speedy recovery.

It was both my worst and best time of my life. Do you know why? I both loss and gain so much *raise up both my hands to express in a form of big* from this experience.

I don't think many would understand what I gone through. I can honestly say at one point during this one year period, that I had found the answers in life. At the age of 23. Not many can say that. But that is before my whole identity went into deep trouble.

I am really not sure why did that happen. I could remember many memories from this entire period of time, except this.

All that are left are just blurs and distortion.

I shared this because I want to share one last bit of information which I experienced. It is alongside with what I had shared with you, above.

You see, I am really blessed and is always glad that I am given to have such sensitive and a heart for other people, that it is what that had always to keep going on with life. Therefore, my eureka moment was to actually help the young people of the community, with whatever I had and will go through.

That is the whole point of this post. To help the young adults.

That moment, and the process, took a great turn in my life. Which, too, inspired me to begin writing again and revamp my blog.

And finally, gave me a good cause, to write. A blog about and for young adults.

Kudos,

'Old Mind, Young Heart